These Games of Thrones - Part 1

As a woman ten years older than Meghan Markle, I feel like someone of my maturity or older needs to sit her down and remind her of that old adage, "if you haven't got anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." It was the sort of thing my mother would say when my siblings and I would squabble as children. Of course, most people grow out of that kind of petty behaviour. At least they learn that it is socially unacceptable.

A couple of years ago I wrote on my social media page why I thought Meghan Markle was a narcissist. It came after the Oprah interview and I laid it out pretty clearly, using examples such as family and friends isolation and minimising her primary partner - that is Prince Harry, and reducing him to subtleties such as "H," among other examples.

I was vilified by a few American women who disagreed with me. The trouble with that is that I have had a lifetime of dealing with narcissists and I stand on the authority of that. Up until 2019, my life has been an education in how narcissists function, and now I am studying abnormal psychology at university. So, frankly, you can try, but you will never convince me that it is otherwise in this case.

My sympathies lie with the Royal Family. The behaviour of Prince Harry and his wife has offended my sensibilities, so I can't imagine how it must feel to be 'stabbed in the back' as they have been, time and time again. It goes against everything decent and honourable and is, quite frankly, unfair, dirty, and mean to put his family in this position, knowing that they are unable to defend themselves. It's an unfair fight. It's bully behaviour. 

Now, I don't want to spend the whole of this post ranting about Meghan Markle - there are other people who do that far better than me and have a greater audience, such as Lady Colin Campbell, Esther Krakou and Tom Bower.

I do want to talk about Ambition and Revenge.

When a narcissist seeks revenge, you then know that they have no other arrows to fire. Insider secret here:  Revenge is the narcissists downfall. Always. It means that they know they are defeated and this is their last crack at getting back at you. When I have seen the narcissists in my life fire their revengeful attacks I have learned to give a little, knowing smile of satisfaction, knowing that they are imploding on themselves. It's over. Pretty much. They might not ever give up their pursuit of revenge, but essentially it is their downfall or at the very least, marks the turn in the tide of their campaign against you. 

Ambition. There is nothing wrong with having ambition. I have ambition. Even at my age, I still have hopes and dreams for the future and goals I want to achieve. Someone like Meghan Markle has ambition too and to give her full credit - she has achieved what she set out to achieve. In Tom Bower's book, Revenge, her father says she told him as a child she wanted to be famous and walk the red carpet (paraphrased). She's achieved that. Good for her.

What is not good with ambition is when you trample over others to get what you want. That's not good, and kind of makes you an unpleasant person. A toxic person. 

When it comes to the Royal family of Great Britain, they are no strangers either to Revenge or Ambition. It comes with the territory because while they hold very little political power these days, they have high status, great wealth and influence and prestige and global recognition and there have been many, many members of the royal family and outsiders too, who have used their own egotistical greed to take the Crown and garner its power.

As a member of the Queen's great Commonwealth, I've grown up with the Royal Family. The Queen has been a constant presence in my life and we have followed the roller-coaster ride of their family joys and troubles and I have really enjoyed watching Prince William and Kate get married and start their family and just be happy. I look forward to their Coronation. I think they will make an amazing Prince and Princess of Wales and and even more amazing King and Queen. I am definitely on Team William and Kate. 

But I write this because the battle for the throne continues even in our modern day. It might not be so bloody as it was during the War of the Roses when cousins fought each other to the death for the throne, or like it was in Queen Mary I's rule where she just executed anyone who challenged her, but make no mistake, the fight for the crown still rages on and it is my opinion that Meghan, once ensconced in the family, perhaps realised she couldn't have the top job. That one day Prince William, as Head of the family would control her finances, she'd have to courtesy to Kate for the rest of her life, and also that while it might look glamorous from the outside, royal life is not really very glamorous and actually quite a lot of hard work and by chance of birth, you are destined to serve the people of your kingdom. The Queen has done an excellent job of this - uniting people, supporting people in hardship and maintaining strength and dignity and calmness through many dire situations. 

Now if you are British, or have grown up with the culture of the royal family, this is knowledge that is innate. But I can understand that an American - where the culture and values system is more individualistic - see the royal family kind of like the princesses of Disney movies. All glamour and pretty dresses and fairytale romances and would actually struggle with understanding this concept and cultural phenomena of service and duty, turning up in the pouring rain on a grim British day to cut ribbons and shake hands with strangers.

Keep in mind that William has grown into the knowledge that he will be King one day. His mother also, who had a deep respect for the Crown - she herself being of British aristocracy, knew the weight this would put on his shoulders and helped prepare him for it, just as he and Kate are now preparing their son, George for that same role that ultimately, in the fulness of time will come to him. They might not necessarily have chosen it for themselves, but it is their destiny. But with that destiny there will always be  the threat of power-hungry, ambitious, egotistical narcissistic behaviour of others that would challenge the crown, challenge the right to the throne, just as we have seen down through the annals of history.

Windsor Castle, UK

The British Royal Crown has almost never been without struggle for the power of the Crown. Just about every monarch has either had to fight for their reign, or they've had turmoil in the government during their reign. I thought in Part II I'd do a quick run-down of some of the more turbulent monarchs and what was happening at the time of their reign and how some of those old royal, parliamentary acts actually influence the royal family today. I love royal history. In fact, if I wasn't studying Forensic Psychology I might be doing a history degree. 
In Part II I will give  my extremely brief overview of significant battles for the throne throughout 'recent' history. 
Starting in 1455 with the War of the Roses. 

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